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Author |
Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 4 post(s) |
Jago Kain
Amarr Ramm's RDI
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Posted - 2008.05.11 21:00:00 -
[1]
Edited by: Jago Kain on 11/05/2008 21:01:33
Originally by: Ren Surkova granted- you get covered in carebear and contract rabies. you're unable to enjoy your shiny new loot cuz you got rabies
I wish I could render every newsreader in the world incapable of speaking in anything but thick ebonics
Granted... but every single shopping precinct in the world is now overrun with 12 yr old white kids in shell suits pretending to be Sir Trevor MacDonald.
I wish Nanette Newman was my compliant sex slave for a weekend.
___________________________________________________ The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
Jago Kain
Amarr Ramm's RDI
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Posted - 2008.05.12 22:36:00 -
[2]
Originally by: Helen Hunts
I wish people weren't so surprised when I do things like this even after I give fair warning. (I have an Evil Mind )
Granted.
The EVE community, no longer surprised at your outpourings, becomes bored and disinterested instead and completely fails to take the bait in the forums, neccessitating that you look elsewhere for your daily ration of attention.... unfortunately, your increasingly futile attempts on this path lead to frustration, anger and a Hungerford style shooting spree at the shopping mall/precinct of your choice and an untimely death at the hands of police marksmen.
I wish every second-hand car dealer in the UK would spontaneously develop painful haemmeroids in direct proportion to the lies they have told and the number of faults with the cars they have sold.
___________________________________________________ The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
Jago Kain
Amarr Pan Galactic Traders
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Posted - 2008.10.25 01:36:00 -
[3]
Edited by: Jago Kain on 25/10/2008 01:37:23 Edited by: Jago Kain on 25/10/2008 01:37:00
Originally by: Epegi I wish for cake.
You get your cake. Unfortunately it's a half-used urinal cake.
I wish folk would stop creating threads about Iceland and it's economy.
___________________________________________________ The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
Jago Kain
Amarr Pan Galactic Traders
|
Posted - 2008.10.25 14:22:00 -
[4]
Edited by: Jago Kain on 25/10/2008 14:25:19 edited for reasons of taste and decency; you should have seen what i wanted to write
Originally by: Aesgrim I wish that I would be perfectly skilled and with the proper knowledge for any job that I would try out for.
Granted. Alas; the only jobs currently available on our database involve being randomly punched by drunk strangers on a thursday night, changing old ladies's nappies (diapers for the colonials amongst you) and being sexually assaulted by frisky octogenerian wrinklies who repeatedly stamp on your feet with their zimmer frames whilst copping a quick feel of your bum. To top it all, despite your superlative skill at all of the above, the money is crap. Welcome to the NHS.
I wish policemen had big flashing lights on their helmets that went off whenever they told a lie in court.
___________________________________________________ The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
Jago Kain
Amarr Pan Galactic Traders
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Posted - 2008.10.26 00:51:00 -
[5]
Edited by: Jago Kain on 26/10/2008 00:54:32
Originally by: Dantes Revenge I wish there was a government who actually did things for the people instead of their own pockets.
Granted. Unfortunately it's a small nation many thousands of miles from here with a really fierce immigration policy.
I wish I had a toffee apple.
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Jago Kain
Amarr Pan Galactic Traders
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Posted - 2008.10.26 15:31:00 -
[6]
Originally by: Highwind Cid I wish green ketchup was back.
Granted. Alas it is merely a bottle of red ketchup left out in the sun for too long and you spend the next week unable to go further than 30 feet from a toilet, just in case.
I wish I could fly, way up to the sky... and no switching it off once i get there either.
___________________________________________________ The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
Jago Kain
Amarr Pan Galactic Traders
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Posted - 2008.10.27 01:10:00 -
[7]
Originally by: Dantes Revenge I wish there was a filter on this forum to find only your own posts since you started posting years ago.
Granted. Unfortunately a bitter, twisted individual puts your name into and necro's every single thread you've ever been involved in in order to flame you for being an evil people hater.
I wish kittens had scales instead of fur and warty protuberances all down their backs so people would stop posting pics of them on the internets.
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Jago Kain
Amarr Pan Galactic Traders
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Posted - 2008.10.27 18:43:00 -
[8]
Originally by: Culmen I wish I could make money
Granted. You get a job for Bob Mugabe working in the Zimbabwean mint.
Alas, as you are paid in Zimbabwean dollars, you are unable to print enough during your shift to cover the cost of paying you for that shift and starve to death as a result of hyper-inflation.
I wish my natural body odour was that of chocolate and money, so as to make me more attractive to women.
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Jago Kain
Amarr Pan Galactic Traders
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Posted - 2009.02.16 18:42:00 -
[9]
Edited by: Jago Kain on 16/02/2009 18:43:14 Granted.
....unfortunately this co-incides with the introduction of Vogons as a new playable race in EVE in a placatory measure to rabid Douglas Adams fan-bois.
Given that Vogons come with better starting stats than Achura, every new character for the next few years will be Vogon and you will starve to death after constantly throwing up watching them all wobble about stations.
I wish Nelson Mandela was elected World President for Life. edit:(Corrupt that and stay fashionable!!)
___________________________________________________ The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
Jago Kain
Amarr Pan Galactic Traders
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Posted - 2009.02.17 16:20:00 -
[10]
Granted.
...unfotunately, the dancing goes hand in hand with the loose trousers which causes a 3000% increase in your sperm count now that your nads are no longer hugging your groinal region so tightly and you only have to look at a woman sideways for her to catch. A series of ill-advised realationships with incautious women (attracted, no doubt, by your awesome dancing skills) leaves a trail of over a dozen bastards in your wake and the child support payments will cripple you for the next two decades at least.
I wish Ritchie Blackmore and company would get their heads out of their collective bottoms and reform the Mk 2 Deep Purple line-up.
___________________________________________________ The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
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Jago Kain
Amarr Pan Galactic Traders
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Posted - 2009.02.19 20:24:00 -
[11]
Originally by: Tractus Vesica I wish this thread will die a horrible painful death, and that anyone who responds to this post will spontaniously combust
Granted.
However... just as *WOOOOOOSHHHHH...WOOOOOMMMPHHHH!!!!!*.... *CRACKLE,CRACKLE,SPIT,CRACKLE*.... arrrrghhh... it hurts it hurts!!! please god someone help me!!! OMG; I can't feel my legs and I can smell burning pork.... please... just kill me... make it stop.*whimper*......
.... ... .. . {silence}
I wish we were allowed to discuss religion and politics on EVE forums. (IBTL for disacussing moderation).
___________________________________________________ The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
Jago Kain
Amarr Pan Galactic Traders
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Posted - 2009.02.23 16:33:00 -
[12]
Originally by: JordanParey I wish that my annoying suitemate would go back to Compton.
Granted.
However.... the reason for the sudden unnanounced departure of your suitemate is the arrival of several large, and heavily armed, gangsters he owes a lot of money to.
Unable to secure payment from your erstwhile roomy, they decide that it falls to you, as his suitemate to cover his debt to them. A lack of significant amount of cash turns your business relationship with these people into one long round of sore bottoms and nasty aftertaste as they press you into service in a sordid back room den adjoining the local crack house.
I wish I wasn't such a hardened cynic.
___________________________________________________ The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
Jago Kain
Amarr Pan Galactic Traders
|
Posted - 2009.02.23 21:40:00 -
[13]
Originally by: Terail Zoqial .....You also get anally probed by aliens who take you from earth incase people find out the truth and are anally probed until the end of your life, which is extended by 1200 years.....
So; it's not all bad news then.
(Sorry to break the flow of the thread, but I figure it's time to not be so selfish and give other folk a chance to play.)
___________________________________________________ The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
Jago Kain
Amarr Pan Galactic Traders
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Posted - 2009.02.24 06:47:00 -
[14]
Granted.
The FBI, in conjunction with the Lizard Men from outer space (thanks Mr Icke), MI5, the Child Protection Agency, the Gnomes of Zurich, the Bavarian Illuminatii, the Irish Illuminatii, IKEA (a front for the Anti-Discordians) and CAMRA start monitoring the EVE forums.
Realising that everyone's favourite fruit loop is hitting a little near the mark for comfort, he is abducted and held in the new top secret replacement for Gitmo, somewhere in deepest, darkest Wales.
...unfortunately, for good measure they also decide to bring in for "questioning" anyone who has had any form of contact with him for the past four years.
You, and indeed myself and half of the rest of EVE and the entire population of his trailer park, end up imprisoned in a heavily guarded internment camp, thinly disguised as a Pontin's resort turned caravan park (oh the irony) whilst all record of our existence is expunged from the record.... Thanks pal.
I wish folk would look before they leap.
___________________________________________________ The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
Jago Kain
Amarr Pan Galactic Traders
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Posted - 2009.02.25 23:02:00 -
[15]
Originally by: JordanParey I wish that I wasn't so tired.
Granted. You now have bags of energy.
However, this raises supicious eyebrows locally and folk start to talk. Some ill-informed meddler 'phones crimestoppers on you and the rozzers arrive to check your place out. The raid finds nothing, but not wanting to waste the warrant, plod "discovers" 5 kilos of scag and several grammes of bolivian marching powder hidden in the cupboard under your stairs and an extended vacation at one of HM's Hostelries ensues.
You end up being more tired than you were to start with due to 23 hours a day enforced idleness, and now in constant fear of being "befriended" by Mr Big who's in with the warders as well.
I wish I was in Greenhall Whitley land...
___________________________________________________ The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
Jago Kain
Amarr Pan Galactic Traders
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Posted - 2009.03.02 18:50:00 -
[16]
Edited by: Jago Kain on 02/03/2009 18:51:01 edit; nice corruption Culmen; I thought it doubtful anyone would get the reference... I'm obviously not the only old-arse in here :)
Originally by: Tractus Vesica I wish that cancer which is Islam had never come to be.
Even I'm not touching that one with a barge pole. Shame on you Mr Intolerance.
I wish he hadn't said that.
___________________________________________________ The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
Jago Kain
Amarr Pan Galactic Traders
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Posted - 2009.03.05 07:12:00 -
[17]
Originally by: Tractus Vesica I wish I could get my friend to dump her boyfriend and go out with me instead. Hes a douche bag.
Granted.
She dumps him and goes out with you... but unfortunately only to the flicks and restaurants. You get to pick up all the pieces and rebuild her shattered self-confidence and spend a futile and hopeful three months as her cuddle-***** and emotional baggage handler.
Having helped her in her time of need, she repays you by hooking up with a die-hard greasy biker type who hands her 'round his mates like a bag of sweets and does unpleasant things to her involving fruit and whippets.
I wish this thread would just die.
___________________________________________________ The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
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